FAQ YOU!
    Three years of public sloth and we've got a whole lot of perplexing questions to show for it. We're full of it. Information, that is. What the hell else were you thinking? God, you pervert. You know, they intsitutionalize people for thinking like that. Freak.
Do YOU have a question you'd like answered? Please mail it to Anti-Pschutt Inc. and we'll be happy to answer (or procrastinate long enough that you'll forget you asked).
What is this "API" that I've seen all over the place here?
API = Anti-Pschutt Inc. Simple, huh?
Yeah, I get it, but what IS Anti-Pschutt Inc.???
Eight rather bored college kids, mostly from California, a few in other places (Texas), who find amusement in poking sticks at monkeys. (Munnkieees?)
Say how do you pronounce pschutt? Is it skutt or pshutt and who the hell came up with it anyway?
The word "pschutt" is pronounced "shoot." I picked it up from a game called Balderdash, a game of lying. One person reads a weird word and everybody else playing comes up with bogus definitions. Then all the definitions, bogus and real, are read aloud and you get points based on how you guess. (Ex: "Zyzzyva" -- it's an African beetle; someone defined it as part of the female anatomy.)
Don't you have anything better to do? or You must have no life!
I've got plenty of other things to do: school, work, sleep, devoting the remainder of my free time and energy to the Subgenius ... This page is three years old, for chrissakes. Gimme a break.
Why do you do this?!? You're no better than any other person!
Oh yes we are. We are inherently better than everyone else, including you. No joke. I'm serious. We're adnormal.
Can I join Anti-Pschutt Inc.?
No, you're just not good enough. But if you ask nicely, we'll exploit you free of charge!
What happened to the REST of Anti-Pschutt Inc.?
Over time, all things must evolve or die. The Anti-Pschutt Inc. board of directors is no exception. We hit an all-time peak of 8 or 10 members. But through personal disputes, lack of contact and lies about venereal diseases people have left API. And when the Worthy grovel at our feet, new faces will be added as well.
Lord GAWD! You sound like arrogant bastards!
That's because we are. Or at least we get a kick out of pretending to be. Distorted Reflection really is an arrogant bastard, though.
If God peed, what would happen?
Lighter fluid.
U BITCH HOW DO U WANT 2 DIE???!??#!?!$??
Well, this is a very sensitive issue. Each of the members of API has answered accordingly:
  • Rev. Devi: "I desire to be sacrificed at the Altar of Gwar. There could BE none higher ..."
  • BeadWhore: "When I get my black-n-chrome racing bike, I'm going to fly along in front of a CHP car at 160+ mph, fall off and smear my remains across two miles of sun-baked Santa Barbara freeway."
  • Awerthan: "If I had to die, I'd die by ________."
  • Dr. Rectum: "I would rather like to be fucked to death by one hundred beautiful women."
  • Nosferatu: "Taking the rest of the world with me."
    • WHY DO YOU HATE [insert celebrity that's appeared on this page]!?
    You want me to do WHAT with that gerbil?
    Who's next?!????!?!?!
    Not sure. Haven't decided yet.
    Have your parents seen the page?
    Yes. They both thought it was silly.
    What bands are you into if you don't like Manson or No Doubt?????????
    A lot of different groups. Collectively, our tastes range from Iced Earth, Slayer, Danzig, Tool, and Megadeth, to Ministry, KMFDM, :wumpscut:, Front Line Assembly and Big Black, to Bad Religion, the Pixies, Social Distortion and the Dead Kennedys. (A partial list; a full list would take ages to compile because my compadres are bums and have WAAAAAY to many CDs between us.)
    Have you seen the Assassin? It's much cooler than your site.
    Yes. I have. And I've always thought that site was entertaining. If I remember correctly, you used to be able to club a baby seal there. Lordy, those were the days ...
    If Jerry Lee Lewis was the Devil and Jesus was an architect previous to his career as a prophet, where does the donkey in the manger fit?
    I've gotta ding-a-dang-dong my dang-a-lang-ding-long.
    Did they have hot rods back then?
    See above.
    What the hell is the guy saying in the song anyhow?
    See above.
    What is a female platypus called?
    Fran.
    How often have you received THIS question?
    Twice.
    How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop?
    46 and 2, just ahead of me.

    Do YOU have a question you'd like answered? Please mail it to Anti-Pschutt Inc. and we'll be happy to answer (or procrastinate long enough that you'll forget you asked).


    Last revision: 05.Feb.00