Anti-Pschutt Inc. (API) is at the forefront of internet pseudo-violence. (That's right. Pseudo-violence. False. Fake. Fabricated. Faux. Not real. This is not Rotten.com. You will not see blood and guts and gore here.) While FAR from the classic definition of a "hate page," (i.e. an incoherent list of reasons "why [insert object/subject] sux") it is the intent of API to ridicule a small part of the American (perhaps even human) culture, and the smaller segment of the population that it consumes totally: that part that feels the need to raise celebrities to the levels of Gods and make religions and martyrs from fan clubs and groupies. Originally, this page was dedicated to mocking Drew Barrymore/Gwen Stefani clones (or "pschutts"). Anti-Pschutt Inc. has since expanded it's crusade: we no longer target exclusively the little girls that emulate everything these women (Gwen/Drew) say, think, and do to "preserve" their sense of "self"; Anti-Pschutt Inc. embraces pschutts from all forms of idol-worship. In a desperate attempt to teach the world to laugh at itself, to take things less seriously, Anti-Pschutt Inc. continues to poke fun at rabid fanatics everywhere. I don't consider this page more than a hobby and small-scale social experiment. Therefore, neither should you. More than anything else, I'd like to drive home the fact that  The sole intent of this page is entertainment. No, you fool. Not YOURS. MINE. (Or "ours", depending on what time of day it is and what medication has been made available.) I don't expect you to agree with anything I've said. In fact, I'd bet money ($10) that nobody has actually read this far. That's right! I'm talking to you, pig-face! I'm talking about you and your mother! What was that DOA song? Damn, I don't remember the whole lyric. That reminds me of a story. Way back in '42, back during the War, me and the boys used to sit around a campfire way up in the Catskill mountains. Every night, around that campfire, somebody'd say, "Hey Joe, tell us a story." He'd just nod, sip his beer, and say, "Waaaaay up in the Catskill mountains, a band of robbers was sittin' around a campfire. One of 'em said, 'Hey Joe, tell us a story.'" Christ. What was I talking about? Yes, yes, peanuts. NO! No! Not peanuts. Monkeys! We'll do anything for monkeys. This page used to be publicized as an opinion. It's not. Not really. Does my entertainment count as an opinion? Hrm, on some level I suppose it does. But that's not what's important. What's important is monkeys. What do you mean you didn't come here to talk about monkeys? Everybody came here to talk about monkeys. That's what this whole spiel is about! Simians! And puddles. Have you ever spoken with a puddle in the dark? No? Neither have I. Just wondering. Anti-Pschutt Inc. does not condone slander or libel. We exist in the name of amusement. If you think this page is, of itself, violent, condones violence, encourages violence or otherwise endorses human beings to do nasty horrible things to one another, you're quite simply wrong. I think people will do nasty things to one another even if my page (and all pages remotely like mine) were completely removed from the public view. I had a great, long rant about the difference between violent acts and this page, but that's gone. Deal. By entering the site, you agree to the following:
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