Morons
"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds."  --  Albert Einstein


     Since this page's creation is March '97, I have received tomes of angry, stupid mail from people who shouldn't have been here but came anyway. The tones and colorful language, the vehemence and blind rage have astounded me time and time again. But what is most baffling, perhaps, is the intrinsic stupidity that is embraced so fiercely by so many angry viewers. So large was the volume of mail that a 'best of' page needed to be constructed.

     So here are some of the most hilarious, stupid, pointlessly angry mail that we have received.

Please allow this document to finish loading before following any of the links.
It shouldn't take very long and it'll save you the trouble of reloading and waiting later.

Note to reader: The tone of these messages (my replies at least) are consistently arrogant and superior in tone and attitude. Why is that? Because I'm simply better. Deal.

Ratings:
= Stupid
= Really Stupid
= Off the scale; negative IQ
= Doesn't your head implode when you're this dense?

The Archive
Alas, while the Anti-Pschutt Inc. Hate Mail Archive was definitely one to be reckoned with, I'm afraid its time has passed. Perhaps it will begin anew sometime down the line, but as it stands, it has been laid to rest.
Pig Vomit Jack-Bastile     
In August '97 this guy sent a total of 30 some messages to me. 25 of them were the same message (constituting a mailbomb by all legal definitions). Unlike most of the other mail I receive, I never posted any of the complete messages he sent me. You can, however, read what I have to say about Pig Vomit Jack. The posts are in chronological order.

Note, these posts are fairly long. If you're looking for quick laughs, read something else.
Boba Fett     
In late July '97 I got a series of 8 of the most bizarre messages I've ever received. They were self-contradicting, hypocritical, STUPID!

Note, these posts are fairly long. If you're looking for quick laughs, read something else.
Ryan Klegwyt and Paul Saliner     
Between the two of them, they have all the intelligence of plankton. Ryan sent mail way the hell back in March '97 and he and 'his friend Paul' (their messages sound far too similar) started sending 'love letters' again in July. Here is the collection of their stupidity. It's hilarious.
BedieTaz@aol.com     
One of the most stupid (sub?)human beings I've ever had to deal with. Bonus! Includes the Hotmail legacy too!
Hitler27@hotmail.com     
This guy is hilarious! One of the original stupids.
Mr. Alexander A Hahn     
This was my first death threat. I treated it seriously and took it to authorities. Had I been able to prosecute the motherfucker I would have. (Pardon my French.) I never took it very seriously. The guy couldn't spell for shit.
Sowaj     
At the end of August '97 Sowaj gave me an ultimatum: my page had to be down in 1 week. Or else. I'm still waiting for that 'or else' bit.
M. Domonkos     
S/he sent two very very very angry messages and then sent one in apology. While I do appreciate the last message, I can't discount the first two as anything less than tragically stupid.
Edward Cutler     
Hey! Guess what! I'm gay! (So says this moron.)
Misery     
So angry ... so foul mouthed ... so stupid ...
Nemonet     
S/he learned how to do HTML! We're so proud! Now if s/he could only get her/his head out of her/his ass...
Darron Stiles     
In the name of someone he holds to be the epitome of all things good in the world, Darron here sure can be vulgar.
Lori Smith     
This message puts a new twist on 'cousinly love.'
Edward Comstock     
I got this one while at work. No, I never went to the morgue.
Brandon Peter Conrad     
This moron has me confused with my employees and also is as arrogant as they come.
Anthony Luera     
LOOK! It's Drew Barrymore!
Daya Goldfarb     
Soooo angry ... Sooooo stupid ...
ToriBarry@aol.com     
I hate AOL.



Last revision: 03.10.00






Pig Vomit Jack
Post 1, 8/12/97
Things have been very quiet recently. People have been finding and liking the humor in my pages here. I almost had a chance to forget about how stupid some Gwen/Drew fans are.

This is the first true hate-mail I've received in weeks. (The message below doesn't really count; it's tooooo weird.) Today, August 12, 1997, I was mailbombed, yet again. But this time something is different.

I WILL NOT POST IT.

Mailbombing, especially anonymous mailbombing, is cowardly, unless taken completely in jest like mailbombing a silly message to a friend.

But where was I? Oh yes, cowardice. The only people on this planet who mailbomb anonymously are PUSSIES. They are blatantly yellow-bellied cowards. They are too afraid of a comeback or response in real life to risk letting anybody know who they are. They are chicken-shit wusses too fresh from their mothers' teat to have balls worth mentioning.

This is to the asshole that bombed me:

ATTENTION PIG VOMIT - You said you'd do it again if you didn't see your message posted. FINE. I'll wait for you to fuck up like the pussy you are and nail your ass to the wall when you do.

But if you DO grow some balls sometime soon, I DARE you to write me with your real e-mail address. If you do, you and I can have a chat and you might save some face. If not, you will just prove to everyone who reads this that you are nothing but a spineless, cowardly fool.


I don't take shit from anybody, and I don't acknowledge weak-minded morons as belonging to the human race with me.


Post 2, 8/13/97
Today is 8/15. On Tuesday (8/12) I got e-mail that I make remarks about below. The same author wrote me twice last night. One message asks a series of stupid, pointless questions. Also contained is a reference to Hell, and a warning that I sure won't like it ("I know about hell ... you dont want to go there.") It also suggests that I learn some "SAT words," kill myself and find religion. All this because I have a web page? Hmmm...and he calls me psychotic?

The second message addresses what I say in my commentary below.

(He does give himself a name, Jack, so I will refer to him as Pig Vomit Jack.)

For a split second, I thought Pig Vomit Jack had grown balls. It only lasted for a brief second though. He did send me an e-mail address (kazi1@juno.com). All mail that is sent to that address is returned with an error reading "Service unavailable. Mail quota exceeded."

Pig Vomit Jack here doesn't seem to realize that if the address is bogus, the deal is void, and he remains a chicken-shit coward. I did send some mail to him, though, which is how I know the address is bogus. I don't think I want to give him the pleasure of having my reply. I hate dealing with assholes, especially ones so arrogant and crude as Pig Vomit Jack is.

He considers himself so very important that because I don't post his mailbomb I am acknowledging that everything he said (Nothing original, mind you. Everything he said can be found already posted in these pages.) was true, and that I am afraid to let other people see it. I am afraid of posting something that's already posted? How odd. I must be the first person in recorded history to be afraid of something I continue to do on a semi-regular basis. (For those of you who don't pick up on sarcasm, that was sarcasm. I won't tell you every time, but once in a while, I will.)

Pig Vomit Jack did give some rather sad reasons for mailing me anonymously. Here is a direct quote.

"You want to know why I didn't write you with my real address? First of all, I'm not stupid. Second of all, I have no idea what psychotic individuals such as you would do...hmm..trace me down, tie me up, torture me??? Or I wouldn't want you, or what you call your 'followers' , flooding me with their email curses or anything. Most people don't write other people to have their email addresses shown publicly...ahh yes another reason. I know of many places where I could post your email address and the people that would see them would be your death, but I don't do that kind of bullshit because I have respect for other people's privacy, ya freak!!! Well considering that you're such as psycho and you deserve things like that...I just maybe do that."
The rest of his message(s) are basically in the same vein, but I use this to illustrate a point: he calls me a freak, psychotic, etc., etc., but goes to such lengths because I have a web page?

And since when have I had followers? All I know is that a couple of people drop in once in a while to check the new messages. (When I say couple I mean it; there are 2 of them.) If I had a cult following, I would laugh and probably tell them all to go away.

Back to Pig Vomit Jack: he has realized that I refuse to address him personally. (Everything in this message and most of the next refers to Pig Vomit Jack in the third person. This is not an accident. Like I say at the end, I refuse to acknowledge weak-minded morons as belonging to the human race with me.) He says this about his mailbombed message:
"By the way, my message wasn't weird, it was just weird to you because you have a mental problem...maybe if you posted it for people to read, you would see it wasn't really weird."
Let's examine this, shall we? His original message was not weird (it was void of paragraphing, most punctuation, and allllll cohesion) it just seemed that way because I have some unspecified mental handicap, but if I post it, it will cease to be weird in my eyes? It continues ...
"Stop trying to conform normal people's minds and don't discriminate against my letters. You let people write you so you can post their messages and talk trash about them. So why don't you do the same with my message ... "
By not posting the message I am assimilating peoples' minds? By not posting the message I am discriminating against him? (Well, I'll give him that one. You might call me a bigot, but I think cowards are subhuman. I won't post mail from cowards, especially chicken-shit cowards.) The only reason I have MAILTO: links is so that I can trash people, not because I am looking for intelligent feedback? How odd. In my eyes, it seemed that I was doing nothing but refusing to fulfill his pathetic wishes.

It's amazing how he can't seem to understand that I don't need to post his messages to trash him. He provides plenty of fodder for the Bash-the-Idiots cannon.

I really wish people like Pig Vomit Jack would stop sending me e-mail. Where are the "Zscoi" 's of the "We love Drew" realm? The "rage" 's? The "Jade" 's? "~ Aneurysm ~" 's? At least their mail was mildly entertaining. Pig Vomit Jack's is nothing but drooooooooning complaints. Ah well. Don't get me wrong, I don't need hundreds of new hate-mail messages. I'd just like some variety, you know?




Post 3, 8/17/97
It's now Sunday, 8/17. My slightly obsessive friend, Pig Vomit Jack, has finally become so upset that I must laugh. I'll probably be long winded about it so I won't post it here. If you would like to read more of my commentary on Pig Vomit Jack, please click here.



Top





Boba Fett
This is from boba fett.
Date: Sat, 19 Jul 1997 01:51:56 -0700
Organization: The Bounty Hunter
Subject: Please here me out

Hello Jessica,
I have a important statement to make, so try to here me out, and I will be civil. Origanaly (AND DON'T MAKE FUN OF HOW I WRITE, please, I'm very sensative, you see.) but back to the point, origanaly, I was just like the others. I typed in 'drew barrymore' on the net, and saw this page in particular. I was angry, so my impulses led me in for some reason. I am a big fan of Drew and Gwen, and my friend really likes Pamela, so I obviously thought "What an asshole!". Honestly, wouldn't you? So anyhow, I was going to do something foolish, when suddenly, that free speech thing hit me like a ton of bricks. I was hoping that my statement could have a simalar impact on you. I'd like to show you that not only are there Drew and Gwen fans with intelect, but also there are ones who notice your own resentment for people speaking their minds, a value that you obviously hold dear to yourself. Your entire page is a "My Opinion" page, were you say "If I say it, it's my opinion. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion." but then you tell hate mail senders "You are ideots" for giveing their opinions. They're simply venting their anger.I mean, I'm not going to send my opinion of you, but I'm also not going to pretend I like you, or most everything on this page. That's my opinion. Don't you see even a trace of hypocracy in what you say? I hope I'm not wasteing my time here. I heard you out, let's see if you can do the same for me. I hope that you get what I'm sayin, and I was kind and didn't threaten you, But only made an important statment in my opinion. Just listen to what I'm saying, and mabey even put it up for everyone to see. Tell me what you think. Sincerly, Boba Fett

I really am getting sick of this long-winded, psycho-analyst type. It's getting pretty dull.

Just out of curiosity, does anyone else thing that this mail sounds arrogant?






This is from boba fett, again. What's the deal?
Date: Sat, 19 Jul 1997 19:52:12 -0700
Organization: The Bounty Hunter
Subject: Boba Fett's back, with somthing else to say

Hello again.
I'm glad you heard me out. That took maturity! I must admit that I didn't have much faith in this letter to begin with, and even thought it was a lost cause. Most people who make "hate pages", don't have the grey matter to listen to somone like myself. I don'tknow why, but I was drawn to this page by its personally ofenseive title.Many people do that. Just look at the "Ate My Balls" pages! They're stupid, pointless, and incredibly irritating, as far as I'm concerned, yet people who think the same go there anyhow! It's in human nature, I suppose, to go out of your way to upset yourself. Now all I'm saying is most people will take it to the head imeadiatly, and act rashly. That's another part of the anger thing, trying to find a quick release. I was able to control my anger and behave in a civilized manner, but anger isn't an easy thing to cage, and immature behavior is what follows anger. Think about it; the idea of makeing a web page devoted to destroying the image of three people who you don't even know, that's not the most mature thing I've ever heard of. It is, in fact, yet another quick release. Now I'm not telling you how to think, but I am saying that you should try to understand were they're coming from. I don't want to seem like I'm takeing their side or yours, but think how this whole thing started. You were obviously quit angry at these three women's image, and wanted vengence. You made this page as a form of revenge. It was exactly this: words and pictures expressing your hostility. I can understand that, I've been angry before. Then many people came in who agreed with you, and many who didn't. Some of those who didn't agree with you got very angry. That's understandable too. They wanted a quick release, a sence of vengence. Now, haven't you ever felt that same way? I don't want to seem patronizing, but only to make my point clear. You do understand the point here, right? I don't want to be a nucence, not even to somone I'm debating with. But eventualy you got upset at them, and looked for a sort of vengence at them by calling them stupid, and so forth. True, what they're doing is immature, but they'd say the same about you. You may not consider what you do to the hate mailers vengece, but really, it is. I'd say you should just ignore the hate mail. It's just words sent from some angry, vengence seeking, person. We all are at one point or another, right? Vengence is an unending chain, and though it's wrong to put anyone at fault, if you had been able to cope with the whole image thing in a more subtle, or solitary way, this particular chain would never have started. Always think about what you do before you do it, unless you don't mind the consiquenses.Remember that next time. Non ofensively, Boba Fett

Now THIS has got to be the SINGLY most pompous piece of mail that I've ever gotten. This asshole has the audacity to start off with an insult to my intelligence ("That took maturity!" and the comment about hate-page authors) and tell me that he's not telling me what to think, but ends with "think about the consequences!" This kind of arrogance should be outlawed.

You should mail him and tell him that Pride is one of the Seven Deadly Sins and that he's going to Hell because of this message. Let him know that Jesus and I have a really special relationship, and that I know who's going to Heaven and who's going to Hell. Then tell him that you also have this same relationship after going to the Bastard Son of the Lord Homepage. (Actually, this relationship is pending, as Jesus hasn't returned my mail yet. I may be forced to convert, if he doesn't reply soon.)






This is from boba fett, AGAIN!
Date: Sun, 20 Jul 1997 11:31:15 -0700
Organization: The Bounty Hunter
Subject: To Jessica

Hello Jessica,
I'm sure you're getting sick of me, I'm so sorry. The fact of the matter is that I'm not going to give up, just because you revert to insults. Some people can't handle any criticizim. I see no harm in what I'm saying. If I come on as patronizing, you'll have to try to forgive me, mabey. I don't want a fight really, but I am presistant. I simply refuse to insult you. Anyhow, I'm very sorry if I did ofend you, but you see, I refuse to give up!!!! I don't like being put down, you know! I'm not doing this for my health. I promised to be civil, and so civil I will be. But you went and hurt my feelings. :<( I'm a person too! As you can tell I'm not the real Boba Fett, just a Fett warshiper. The real Fett wouldn't be doing somthing like this. Once agian, I'M SO SORRY FOR EVERYTHING, BECAUSE IT'S ALL MY FAULT!!!!!!! Now I'm going. Sighned,
Boba Fett


What? Is this some kind of mission this guy's on now? What's the deal? This is getting terribly uninteresting and rather annoying.




This is from boba fett, for the FOURTH time in 2 days. A record!
Date: Sun, 20 Jul 1997 12:46:17 -0700
Organization: The Bounty Hunter
Subject: To Jessica

Hey,
I'm sorry I insulted your inteligence! So so sorry. By the way, my feelings weren't really hurt, it was a joke, kind of. I took all your insults and bull shit. And I really never wanted you to feel insulted! I wanted to communicate. I'm a fucking bastard, blah, blah, blah, I'm arrogant, I'm all this shit. I see your opinion, and am not making fun of it. I don't want to be on anyones bad list (too late, huh?) so everybody laugh at me. It's healthy! I love being your fall guy. If you would simply listen to what I was saying, instead of paraphraseing it and tearing my words up and around like Ross Perot, I know you get my point. You're obviously smart enough, I've noticed. I am not attacking you, I swear! All I want is a bit of respect, and correct understanding. You put me on the dumb fan page. Trying to hurt me I suppose. Your insults are getting old, I simply want to communicate, without the insults and everything. I'm not out to offend you, and I'm sorry if I did. Listen to me, I must be getting boreing, right. Come on, laugh at the monkey, he's so stupid. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh I love being an imbicil for everyone to laugh at!!!! Oh, and Boba Fett is the popular Star Wars bounty hunter who captured Han Solo. So sorry for everything, I'm the bastard who's going to hell, ya' know! Too bad I'm not going to heaven like you.
Sighned,
Boba Fett


This is the fourth message in two days. And Drew/Gwen fans accuse ME of having no life!

I hope he goes away now. I made it very clear in my last message to him. It said something to the effect of "GO AWAY. NOW. Poof! Be gone!" Not terribly eloquent, but very effective (I hope).






This if from boba fett, for the FIFTH time in two days and third time today.
Date: Sun, 20 Jul 1997 14:12:30 -0700
Organization: The Bounty Hunter
Subject: Sorry

Just listen to me one more time!
All you've done in the past is misconstru me!!! I don't want a fight!!! I said I was sorry and I truely meant it!!!!!!!!!!!! I KNOW I can be a real pain in the ass, but I'm just expressing my opinion like you!!!!!!!! I never meant to seem pompos and arrogent, and if you had not misunderstood me in the first place I wouldn't be makeing your life miserable!!!!! I never wanted you to think I was some sort of brainwashing fashist ( forgive my spelling), but just as a person with a statment. You took it to the head. Not insulting that or anything, but it's what I'm picking up from you. I don't know how to be completely civil I geuss. Now, I am emphaticaly apologizeing for everything I've done to you. You have to trust me on that. I know that in many asspects I was wrong. I was just wondering if I could get an apology from you? If so, I swear I'd leave you alone forever. You could forget you even met me. I'd be just as glad. You know you win more flies with honey than you do with vinagre.
Apologeticaly,
Boba Fett


Do you think I can get a harassment case filed? Five messages is more than enough for a stalker case, but he hasn't been threatening.

DREW FANS -- If you think I have no life, take a look at this guy: Five e-mails in two days, after all of my replies have included a very emphatic "GO AWAY."

You should e-mail him with what you think he should do instead of e-mail me. I have this sinking feeling he has nothing better to do with his time.






This is from boba fett, for the SIXTH time, 4th today alone.
Date: Sun, 20 Jul 1997 15:06:46 -0700
Organization: The Bounty Hunter
Subject: Good bye and Good ridance

I know you want me to go away, but I just wanted an apology! This is it, I'm giving you what you wanted, I'm going away, and do you know why? Because I'm sick of your bithcy, mightier than thou, I'm always right, aditude! I've grown to hate you, but even more so, I really, really, really, hated kissing your fucking ass, in a meager attempt to get you to be nice!!!!! I tried to be nice, and all you did was bitch at me!!!! I wish I'd never seen your fucking page! And if you're going to write back, don't give me the same fucking letter I gave you!!! You just can't be wrong can you?!?! If I never hear of you again, it will be too soon!!!! I just grew some common sence, huh? But you were very pompus too, miss no-defeatest! You are a hypocrit in my opinion, and I don't care if you like me or not. I guess I should just mind my own bussiness, right. You give drew/gwen haters a bad name as far as I'm concerned. That's it from one asshole to another. And since I'm going to leave you alone, it might be nice if you took me off your damn page, even though I know what you're going to say. You know.
Good ridance,
Boba Fett


FINALLY!!! Not only do his true colors show through, but he's GOING TO LEAVE ME ALONE! Yipeeeee!

It took long enough! Gawd!





This is from boba fett, or his brother; Message number seven.
Date: Sun, 20 Jul 1997 15:44:49 -0700
Organization: The Bounty Hunter
Subject: Not threatening, I'm his brother

Hey, has my brother been bothering you?
We share a mail site, and he gets a little over zealous at times, and he dose some pretty dumb tihngs. I kicked his ass acordingly, when I found out what he's been doing. I would like you to forgive his persistance. Not saying you have to or anything. He was just kind of offended. We're going to have to put him on prozac or something. Anyways, I am a fan too, and I missed the humor in the page also, but he took it too far. That's why he has a black eye!!!! But could you please take his mail off your page? It makes ME look bad. He says sorry too.
Sighned,
Boba Fett (the good one.) ;<)

His BROTHER? Three of the SEVEN messages are signed "sighned." I HARDLY consider this to be a "coincidence." But, it could happen. The Mailto: links have been edited to include an automatic subject of "to Boba's loser brother." Who knows? It only takes a second to edit the links, maybe each will be different! That would be cool.





This is from boba fett, or his brother or WHATEVER, for the EIGHTH time in 2 days.
Date: Sun, 20 Jul 1997 16:25:37 -0700
Organization: The Bounty Hunter
Subject: Thanks A Million

Hey Jessica,
Thanks a million, I owe you for this one, unless you consider kicking the shit out of my brother as payment. He won't torment you any more. Did I really mis-spell "sighned"? I mean I'm no champion speller. It must run in the family. As for the other hate mailers, I have a message for you; I'm a huge drew/gwen fan, but I say, it's only words and pictures. It's not like she really beat them up. Get over it you dumb asses!
Thankfully,
Boba Fett ;>)

Now THIS is ridiculous. WHY DO THEY KEEP WRITING ME!? I'm sick of them! Don't they know that?! There's this thing called "overkill" that happens when someone is bombarded with something, anything. I am SICK of hearing from these people.

And I really, really doubt this "brother" even came to my page. This is stupid. I hope they go away. Soon. VERY soon.



Top





Ryan Klegwyt and Paul Saliner
Ryan's original mail in March
This would be from Ryan Kleywegt in all his glory.
Subject: you fuk up
Date: Sat, 19 Apr 1997 22:04:27 PDT

hey just finished readian all the mail you got sounds like yoour not too poular will I feel sorry for people like you that have soo much time on their hands my advice to you is get a life


Sincerly urge to kill


Have you ever in your life seen such terrible spelling?!? Was this guy drunk out of his mind or just stupid? I favor the latter. I encourage you to write to him and correct his spelling and grammar. I'm sure he will appreciate it.





The second wave of messages
This is from Ryan Kleywegt, a repeat offender. See his other mail at the other mail page.
Subject: Fuck You
Date: Thu, 10 Jul 1997 23:10:01 PDT

Hey you stupid pathetic looser why do you hate drew are you jealous? eh you ugly bitch you must have no life to have all this time to make that gay page you looser. why don't you get a life you pathetic bitch. Screw You.

sincerely, DRew Fan


In the time since Ryan last wrote me (April 19) his vocabulary has not changed and his mindset hasn't either. He also can't spell "loser" any better. In the words of the great Evil People, Inc. : "Piss off, Junior High Boy."





This is from Paul saulnier.
Subject: looooser!!
Date: Thu, 10 Jul 1997 23:18:33 PDT

Hi you looser I hope you enjoyed making that page you looser why would you hat the most beutiful person alive probably cause your jealous. well I don't have too much time bitching out loosers like you so see ya loooser!!!!


Okay, read through this message, then read the one below and come back. Okay. Did you do it? Good. Now tell me HONESTLY that this asshole is not my friend Ryan below. And if he isn't he's very closely associated with him, perhaps even intimately! Why can't anyone spell "loser" or "beautiful"? I just don't get it...





This is from Ryan Kleywegt, repeat offender.
Subject: greetings loooser
Date: Fri, 11 Jul 1997 23:05:14 PDT

hi it's me again!! thanks for replying soo soon you must have been bored I feel sorry for the people that have to see you at the beach!! I can read or I would not be able to write this and yes I did write you in april. who so you go to the movies with your mother?? or yourself? how long have you kept your page going?? well hope to hear from you, you simple minded freak!!
P.s: Fuck you

oh yeah did you hear from my friend paul???


Oh how nice to hear from Ryan twice in one day. And he thinks I'm the loser. Why don't you all drop him a line and ask him how many o's are in "loser"? I think you'll find his response entertaining.

And if you're in the mood to mailbomb, be my guest. Tell him that I provided his address for you. He's just not funny anymore.






This is from Paul saulnier, again. Better known as Ryan's gay love-slave.
Subject: hey bitch.
Date: Fri, 11 Jul 1997 23:18:02 PDT

Hello, my name is Paul, i talked to my high school buddy Ryan. He hates you too. BITCH!! You are the biggest fukin' loooooosssseeerrrr. You like keep track of all yer e-mail 'cause you got nutin' else to do. You remembered Ryan from April. I figured that you would hundreds of these letters everyday you fukt up mutherfuckin' looser. you blow dogs. Could you send me a pic of yu so I could make a Beat The Shit Outta THe Drew Hatin' Bitch webpage. That'd be cool..huh.huhhuhhuhhuh.. I don't have that much time on my hands though. You see I have a life.

Any way I should go....Sincerely Drew luver PAUL.

p.s. Your muther sucks cocks in Hell!!!

you cocksucker Drew rules!!
Fuck you you looser!!! you are a pathetic piece of shit!!! you probley have 0 friends a sits around talking to your dog!! go to hell!!!!!!


At 11:05 Ryan has the good will to mail me and his friend Paul indulges me 13 minutes later! I feel so damn special!

Come on, boys, this just isn't funny anymore. It's unoriginal, and makes for a bad post. Try to be different from the rest of the pack. Learn to spell. Don't emulate Butthead. Learn to spell. Get a hobby, like learning how to spell. Do you see a trend? Am I making myself clear enough? AM I GETTING THROUGH? ¿Comprendes?

If any of you would like to see the mail that I have sent to both Ryan and Paul (Ryan and Ryan, if I'm not totally mistaken) please click here. It's really rather funny.






This is from Ryan Kleywegt, AGAIN! Hahahahhaha!

For those of you who are first time
visitors to my page, this guy Ryan has been
mailing me on and off since APRIL.
More about Ryan and his gay lover, Paul, on
the next page.


Subject: stop emailing me!!
Date: Mon, 14 Jul 1997 11:51:46 PDT

Stop emailing me ok and I should let you know I have 2 brothers in university here for the summer.
ta ta,


What does this have to do with anything? Should I be quaking in my boots because he's going to sic his two older brothers on me? Should I be scared because, oh no! Heaven forbid they would be as closed-minded and stupid as him! Goodness! I hope stupidity doesn't run in his family!

Why should I care, Ryan? Moron!


Top





BedieTaz@aol.com
This is from BedieTaz@aol.com
Date: Fri, 12 Sep 1997 01:08:45 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: About your page

I think it is very discusting! It is your right to do it though. And I have a right to voice my opinion now. I think you have some really bad mental problems . That or you are like really fat and ugly , cuz it seems to me that you are jelous. I love Drew ! She is a very beautiful woman and she is very talented! I admire her for who she is. There that is all I have to say. Oh yeah if you are in the Florida or California area here is a number to call for that mental problem you may have.....The number is for Mental Health Programs.....24/hour line(800)331-2673.........Lates you sick bitch

It's too late for me to go into a whole commentary about what a moron this guy/gal. This is the message I sent in reply:


>I think it is very discusting!

That's your opinion. Fine.

>It is your right to do it though.

Yep, I sure do.

>And I have a right to voice my opinion now.

Sure, go ahead.

>I think you have some really bad mental problems . That or you are
>like really fat and ugly , cuz it seems to me that you are jelous.

See, this is not an opinion. This is presumptuous, arrogant bullshit. An opinion is "I disagree with your views of Drew/Gwen/the trend. I think they are just fine."

I'd like to know, however, where you come from (state would be just fine)? I imagine that people where you live have opinions too. You should learn what an opinion is before you go about making an ass of yourself.

>I love Drew ! She is a very beautiful woman and she is
>very talented! I admire her for who she is.

Good for you.

>There that is all I have to say.

I'm so very happy.


>Oh yeah if you are in the Florida or California area here is a number
>to call for that mental problem you may have.....The number is for Mental
>Health Programs.....24/hour line(800)331-2673.........

I don't know why you insist that I have mental problems. You're the one who can't spell, has horrific grammar, and is stupid enough to think that I care.

>Lates you sick bitch

I hope you enjoyed this little waste of time. I hope you grow up soon enough to realize that: a) you're the reason people come to my page: EVERYBODY loves to laugh at morons like you; b) you exude all the intelligence of a lab rat; and c) you should really find better things to do with your time. I've heard herb gardens are nice.

And I don't know where you get off telling me _I'M_ the one with mental problems, O Ye of So Little Intelligence. You're the one that came to this page, to begin with.







This is from BedieTaz@aol.com. Goodness not another one!
Date: Fri, 12 Sep 1997 01:33:38 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: Re: About your page

Well for one I live in California.....Anaheim to be exact......Right down the street from Gwen.........I dont like her and it is fine that you dont either....Pamala is a fake bitch I agree with you on that........But Drewbarrymore I have liked way befor everyone else has.........Ever since I was a youngin... I have liked her.......Oh yeah and to when you said go the fuck away....I have a right to read bullshit like that and if you dont like it you can suck a big fat hairy (_(_)=======> and you can take the page down if you dont want me to read it. Well if you want to voice your opinion back at me feel free because you are the only one making an ass of yourself!


Several points should be made about this message, but I'd like to start off with an announcement:

ATTENTION: As I am going off to school in a couple of weeks, I will no longer have the free time to handle this stupidity. I have collaborated with Satan to form an official Complaints Department. He will handle morons primarily (I get a crack at them, too) from this point on. He has no sense of shame. At all. Just thought I'd let you all know!

And now this message:

Notice, after reading the message below, that because s/he agrees with me about Gwen (and Pamela, even though it isn't mine) my opinions and point of view are suddenly just peachy keen. Hypocracy? I think so.

Also, notice the lack of spelling capabilities. This is a popular trait of most Drew hate mail (and some fan mail that I've seen on Drew sites.) And the use of the word "youngin" indicates a lack of a true genetic pool (i.e. inbreeding) that is often associated with "rednecks" and "hicks."

Now, this "Right to read bullshit" thing is just beyond me. I have no idea what s/he means by this.

Note the ASCII art capabilities. This is indicative of a 14-year-old mentality and a profound lack of any true creative drive.

And finally, the "ass" reference. As s/he is obviously void of any creativity whatsoever, as proven by the ASCII art, s/he must throw back the same insult I sent to him/her. How sad.

Ah well. On to better things!






This is from BedieTaz@aol.com, AGAIN!
Date: Fri, 12 Sep 1997 01:38:14 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: Re: About your page

Oh yeah and go ahead and post it up! I can care less. I dont feel like an ass.... I am comfortable with what people have to say about me.....So go ahead with your dumb as charades


I'm glad s/he isn't opposed to being publicly ridiculed. I'd hate to hurt his/her feelings, you know. {trying desperately to stifle laughter}

And I'm sure Hitler didn't feel like an ass either.

However, I would like to know where Charades fits into all this.






These are both from BedieTaz@aol.com yet again! And Drew fans say I have no life?
Date: Fri, 12 Sep 1997 01:44:50 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: Re: About your page

EAT SHIT

and this message at 1:53:28 (EDT)

EAT SHIT YOU STUPID UGLY FAT BITCH


As you read through these messages (yes, there are 5 of them) you should note the increasing animosity levels, culminating in a trite, but I'm sure deeply effective in the author's mind, insult. This is the exact message I sent in response to everything after the initial letter:


The following message: 01:44 AM 9/12/97 Re: About your page


Have been forwarded to my complaint department.

Thank you for the input! Have a wonderful day!


D. Mentia
---------
Metria's better half.


Of course the time changed with each, but that's ALL I SENT after my first response (posted farther down on this page). How terribly disappointing. I thought that Drew fans might be getting more intelligent, as they stopped mailing me, but the hits kept coming in. {sigh} Se la vi. (or however you spell that.)






This is from BedieTaz@aol.com, message number 6.
Date: Fri, 12 Sep 1997 03:24:28 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: Re: About your page

Can't you take care of your own problems? I guess your name is Jessica. And from the way you two are I take it you are devil worshipers. Your friend that claims to be the devil told me to burn in hell. Well I am not going to be the one burning in hell you stupid whore. You people are all the same. Yea you threaten to kill people in there sleeps when you know you dont even have the power to do anything. You can suck on a piss infected cum bubble and you two can see eachothere in hell


It's funny how hostile s/he has become. I sent the message, that you see in the response below, again. Where is this hostility coming from? S/He makes reference to my personal information. I now have a page all about me. It's FULL of sarcasm. In fact, most of the stuff there is either sarcastic or not completely serious. It's sad that this guy/gal is too dense to know sarcasm when s/he sees it. Would you like to see it? Click Here.




An entire page has been dedicated to BedieTaz's conversations with Mistress Wanda. Click here to read them. (Pretty long, but REALLY stupid.)


Top





Hitler27@hotmail.com
This is from hitler27@hotmail.com
Wed, 26 Mar 1997 16:55:55 -0800 (PST)
Subject: DREW!!!!

first off good idea killing drew, but only if it was you! First of all you suck and am very sick, people know me as Hitler i am a follower of the Nazi party and in all my life ive never seen something that sick, I hope Drew herself see's it and files a law suit on your ass! you sux!
Hitler!


My reply to him was also quite funny. Please write him letting him know how lame Nazis are. If you mention that Nazis blow goats, you get extra good karma points!





This little ditty is from some moron (hitler27@hotmail.com) claiming to be Drew Barrymore.

Note: If you've sent mail to this address in the last 2
days you need to resend it. Mailto address was wrong.


Date: Wed, 2 Apr 1997 17:56:38 -0800 (PST)
From: "Drew Barrymore" (a.k.a. hitler27@hotmail.com)
Subject: YOU THE PILE OF SHIT!


You sux i think people like you should be drug out to the street and shot i agree with all the others when they say your a fat cow, why dont you put a picture of you up there so we can all take a look at the most buityful woman in the world YOU! ya right, i bet when you were little people made fun of your weight and you ran home to your mom and she shoved a cookie in your mouth and said "oh hunny your just buityful, they just dont know it" and of course you belived her well its time to wake up and smell my penis your mom is not going to be around for ever but the cookies will and your fat and.....oh ya you say you dont have time to change this sight well pull your hand out of your fat chick cunt and change it you bitch you really piss me off, well i must go now!
Love,
HItler!


I sure hope he knows just how ridiculous he sounds. This mail was received in response to a notification letting him know that I had posted his OTHER mail on this page. (I say "his" because the address is "Hitler," and I really doubt this is Drew.) Such hostility! It can't be very healthy.


Top





Mr. Alexander A Hahn
This is from MR ALEXANDER A HAHN.
Date: Thu, 3 Jul 1997 01:40:43, -0500
Subject: your webpage

Dear Fagget,
You obviousley are the gayest person ever ( not that i don't like
gay people ) but just because you don't think women are good looking
dosent meen that you need to talk shizznit 'bout the best looking
girl on earth!! Yes I know i'm dumb and that I went passed the
warning page to see just how gay a homosexual can be!!
- sincerely yours ,
The Unabomber,
Your Life is in check bitch if you know whats
good for you report me to the authorities and try to get
into the witness protection program
because if you don't somebody will send you
a mail bomb, whats your address?? so i can send
you one!?


Oh! How wonderful! Another Drew fan without a clue. Why is it so hard for them to understand that "Jessica" is a female name and that gay females, aka Lesbians, like women like this? Gawd . . . And this guy has the audacity to write to me and tell me that he read and ignored my warnings and then proceeded to bitch to ME about my page! Somebody needs to HELP people like this.





This is from MR ALEXANDER A HAHN again.
Date: Thu, 3 Jul 1997 01:48:12, -0500
Subject: Re: Drew and last e-mail

Dear Fucker,
I realized your a girl and i also realize you wont paste what i'm
about to say because its true so trash this right now!!
You are obviousley an ugly feminist that
hates the greatest looking women on
earth because you werent blessed @
birth with good looks, you obviously
are mad and jeleous because of your
an ugly dumb bitch,
Burn in hell stop talking shit or
i'll kill you ( I'm DEAD serious
if you tell me where you live I
WILL KILL YOU!!)
-sincerely soon to be Drew's husband.


My, my, my! Now I am not only a bitch and a lesbian for creating a page that disagrees with this asshole's opinions, but now my very life is in danger. I've contacted e-mail authorities at both my web-server and prodigy.com and will be taking both of these messages, both above and below, to the LA PD as early as I can in the morning (it's about 11:50pm).

To those of you who plan on doing something like this to me, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. I will not tolerate immaturity and illegal behaviors such as this. If you write to me and call me a bitch, or a faggot, or an indecent whore for having an opinion different from yours, I don't care. I can laugh at that. But if, for one second, you step over the insulting line and threaten me, you can bet your balls I'll do something about it.


Top





Sowaj
This is from sowaj, of Wadena Composite School.
Date: Tue, 26 Aug 1997 22:15:28 -0600
Subject: to jessica re:drew

I think this is a cool page but u should be killing anyone but Drew. She is only the greatest actress of all time. What has she done to you that you have the right to let people kick the living piss out of her, on the internet???? If you don't come up with a good reason then find you and beat the living piss out of you. IN REAL LIFE. You better do it in a week or I'll keep getting more and more pissed off.

Charlie M.

P.S. A week


Oh! (joyful laughter!) The idiots have returned! I can once again laugh at the stupidity of Drew fans everywhere! Hahahahahahah!

(regaining her composure) Now, let's examine this, shall we? This message is what I have deemed of type AWISC. ("A wolf in sheep's clothing") Although my page is cool, I will now be hunted down like an animal (in ONE week!) because of it.

Next, we have the incredible phenomenon of "living piss" on the internet! It was my understanding that nothing "living" could exist in a network of computers.

And since WHEN do I have to answer to anybody but myself? My feet are steady in my boots and my fingers are only shaking from the laughter.

Get a life, loser.


Top





M. Domonkos
This is from m domonkos.
Date: Fri, 23 Jun 2006 14:53:22 -0700
Subject: to jessica re:drew

YOU STUPID FUCKING WHOREY LITTLE BITCH. THAT'S WHAT YOUR FACE IS GONNA LOOK LIKE.!.!


My, my, my! Such language! And look at the period-exclamation point combination there at the end. Rather interesting. I've gotten so used to reading mail of a positive sort that I'd almost forgotten what it's like to read drivel such as this.

It's just struck me that almost none of the people who make such loud, hateful objections to my page ever bother responding to my replies. It's almost as if they're afraid of having something intelligent, albeit mocking, sent to them more than once.






This is from m domonkos again.
Date: Fri, 23 Jun 2006 16:47:07 -0700
Subject: to jessica re:drew

You are sick and if this is what u do with your spare time I feel sorry for you. Maybe you should think about getting a life or at least growing up. Get some help while you still can, bitch.


Oh! What a wonderful comeback! I will thank you to take back your wasted pity and find another hobby, please. Just so you all know, I have a 2 week period where I am without school and without work. I've set most of it aside as free time to do little more than sleep (I'm catching up on lost sleep from the year), but I do have a trip planned. If I get around to posting mail, I will. If not, who cares? Either way, I am free of mandatory school FOREVER.
-*{dancing in small, giddy circles}*-
Anyhow, read on. This stuff is funny.


Top





Edward Cutler
This is from Edward Cutler.
Subject: The Jenny/Gwen Debate
Date: Sat, 26 Apr 1997 08:08:12 -0400

what are you gay you must be if you what to beat up all these hot chicks.

ps your gay


Logic is obviously something beyond this one. My name is JESSICA, therefore I must be female. A gay female is a lesbian. Lesbians like women in that special way. So. If I was gay I would LIKE these women. As I do NOT like these women, I must not be gay. Moron.


Top





Misery
This is from misery@hotmail.com
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 1997 10:43:34 -0800 (PST)
From: " ~ Aneurysm ~"
Subject: Drew

hey chic what the fuck is wrong with you? I don't see why you have a fucking problem with someone's appearance. You must be fucking racist to totally fucking dis someone because they have fucking blond hair. AND if you had been paying ANY attention to the fucking media lately you WOULD know that Drew dyed her hair! Hello? Obviously you have taken no notice of Drew's entire background and personallity and if you have a problem with someone who's origional then FUCK YOU because you are honestly the most shallow, self absorbed person i have ever encountered on the fucking internet. You should be fucking ashamed. I don't EVER want to deal with another fucking poseur of your sort again. Who are you gonna dis next? Courtney Love perhaps? FUCK YOU!

~ JAS



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nirvana Forever Nirvana Forever Nirvana Forever
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Have you ever seen the word "fuck" used so many times in so little space!?





This is from misery@hotmail.com again.
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 1997 15:37:26 -0800 (PST)
Subject: Re: Go fuck yourself

I cut the quoted mail out so this would be readable.

Hey listen,
Maybe, just maybe you should be a little more concerned with who you are dealing with because you don't fuck with me and what your doing - totally dissing someone else because you don't agree with their 'image' - is totally, in itself, revolting and says a lot about your personality and your self-esteem. I don't even see what it is about her 'image' that discusts you. You make me fucking sick and i went beyond your stupid little warning page simply because I wanted to see what pathetic little thoughts were going through the mind of a jealous loser.

Jenn


Gee, it looks like I really hit a nerve. Golly, I sure hope you don't break a blood vessel in your neck and DIE because of my page! You might also consider diversifying your vocabulary. As you use profanity so freely, you are quite obviously suffering from a lack of more appropriate words.


Top





Nemonet
This is from Nemonet
Subject: to jessica re:gwen
Date: Sun, 16 Nov 1997 21:54:33 -0800
X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V4.71.1712.3    Hehehe   Stupid AND uses MSIE!


fuck you bitch. Gwen is the best thing that has
happen to music.You are just
jealous.
HOE!!!!!



Hehehe I liked Distorted Reflection's response!

But I'd also like to add something here -- There are almost as many Gwen HATE pages as there are Gwen worship pages. This pleases me. Oh yes. It does.


Top





Darron Stiles
This is from From Daron Stiles
Subject: TO JESSICA
Date: Sat, 29 Mar 1997 19:55:26 -0500

You are a sick demented stupid jealous bitch!

It never ceases to amaze me how the fans of (as they put it) this "wonderful, beautiful, sweet person" can be as cruel, verbally abusive, arrogant, crude, vulgar, vile, rude and illiterate as they are.


Top





Lori Smith
This is from Lori Smith
Date: Sat, 29 Mar 97 17:35:14 -0800
Subject: (no subject)
It took her 3 messages to figure out how to mail me, and she STILL couldn't get the subject concept down.
To Jessica

My cousin and I HATE you!!! We think that your a jealous bitch that has no life but to critisize beautiful people. You don't even know her yet you post that she is the worst person in the world. Maybe you are super ugly and find that the only thing to help you with this problem is to do this sort of thing, but seriously we think you have problems and shouldnt take it out on others. Drew happens to be our idol and you should just keep to yourself you ugly stupid fuck!!!

What she was doing with her cousin, I'm not quite sure I want to know. . . Is it my fault that inbreeding is so prevalent in that family? heheheheh Get a clue. Pages like this love morons like that.


Top





Edward Comstock
This is from EDWARD COMSTOCK.
Date: Wed, 27 Aug 1997 14:48:32 -0400
Subject: to jessica re:drew

You freak Drew is better than you you sick retard I outta kick your sorry ass.!!!!!!!!!!!!I hope Drew knows about this so she can hate your guts too......



ps. dont try to start your car unless you feel like a trip to the morgue!!!!!!


Now this is intelligent! Threaten me from your real e-mail address so that when I drop on by the FBI offices later this week I can bring a print-out of this message, headers included, and nail your ass to the wall for a death threat.

In the month since I've received any real (and laughable) hate mail it seems that Drew/Gwen fans haven't wised up any. Oh well. Too bad for them, huh?

Let's see, a list of things I can sue for: Emotional distress (my life HAS been threatened), harassment (well that's obvious), emotional and psychological damages (I don't believe I'll ever be the same again!) ... Anything else?


Top





Brandon Peter Conrad
This is from Brandon Peter Conrad.
Date: Wed, 12 Nov 1997 15:53:19 -0500 (EST)
Subject: drew & gwen & newg & werd


Greetings and Salutations.
Let me first say that I came across info about you from the Sandman's page. And it was just all so interesting that I couldn't help but respond in some way. So here is my response.

Let me secondly say that from what I gathered from the few emails that were sent to you, (1) you don't like Gwen Stefani or Drew Barrymore, (2) you think that everyone one who does should be killed, and (3) you consider yourself to be a friend to the devil.

First of all, don't you think there are more important people on this earth that need to be deleted besides those two? For instance, how about Janet Reno, or Mr. Rogers? Secondly, what is your deal with wanting to kill everyones family? I mean is that really necessary? I may be jumping up the wrong tree here, but it seems that you didn't have a very healthy relationship with anyone in your own family, and by saying you want to kill everyone else's family is your way of mentally exacting revenge on your own. Am I right? Or am I right? Or am I wrong? Either way, I can see your explanations for wanting to kill those people, but leave their families out of it. As for number three above, well, no comment. Finally, do you even know what dementia means? In case you don't, it means the impairment or loss of mental abilities due to disease processes. From your writing abilities, I would say that you are a long way off from the loss of your mental abilities. Just a suggestion, but maybe a better name would be appropriate, like N_sane, or Kleptodipsomania. Anyway, my point is . . . my point is . . . well, I guess I just don't have a point. So goodbye.

Signed,
Lothar

P.S.
Jesus saves.
Moses takes the pass, he shoots, he scores!

whatever


You have no idea how much it pisses me off to get stupid, pompous, arrogant, presumptuous mail from people who try so hard to be intelligent, and fail so miserably. Stupid, pompous, arrogant, presumptuous people who use big words are still stupid, pompous, arrogant, presumptuous people.

And you should all listen to Danzig. They KICK ass. They rock such tremendous nads that I can't imagine life without them. Danzig and Pantera. Yeah. That pretty much sums up life. (Well. Almost. If you haven't already noticed, I'm the Queen of Overstatement.)


Top





Anthony Luera
This is from Anthony Luera. (aka Drew Barrymore)
Date: Tue, 24 Jun 1997 13:56:14 -0400
Subject: to jessica re:drew

Jessica I think you are a very sick individual. This is very digrating to me because I'm the Drew you supposably do not like. I hope you rot in hell.


Your friend,
Drew Barrymore.


Now this is simply pathetic. This is a neurotic fan posing as Drew letting me know that I should be rotting in hell. How terribly stupid! And this from a fan of such a (in their own words) "sweet, caring, loving, wonderful, saint-like, heaven-sent creature of good."

Just to clear up any confusion, I do not "supposably" dislike Drew Barrymore. I DO NOT like Drew Barrymore. There should be no question in your mind. There is NONE in mine.


Top





Daya Goldfarb
This is from Daya Goldfarb
Date: Mon, 24 Mar 1997 23:56:36 -0800
Subject: you

i think you are sick and disgusting and should shot in public. you are probably some worthless piece of crap who shouldn't even be allowed the pleasure to look at drew barrymore. you are a pathetic creature who doesn't deserve a single ounce of respect. you don't even deserve the honor of me emailing you, you pathetic bitch


Looks like I really struck a nerve here! hehehehehe


Top





ToriBarry@aol.com
This is from ToriBarry@aol.com
Date: Tue, 25 Mar 1997 14:25:47 -0500 (EST)
cc: ToriBarry@aol.com
Subject: To Jessica

So you hate Drew Barrymore because she's beautiful, is an animal activist, a vegetarian and has won the "drug addiction" stage.------------> I smell jealousy!


How typically AOL. Not only does this person not have a shred of intelligence (When exactly did I get personal with Drew? Wasn't her image what I was after? Hello? ¿Se habla Inglés?) but confirms the frantic stupidity inherent to AOL. Get a clue. Just go back to sitting on your ass in a chat room somewhere and STOP wasting my bandwidth!



Top