Since many people have asked for the replies from the Ryan and Ryan/Paul mail, I'm posting the messages and my replies in their entirety.

Enjoy!



The messages will be in this color (black) and my replies will be in this color (red).


To: Ryan Klegwyt
Subj: Re: Fuck You
At 11:10 PM 7/10/97 PDT, you wrote:
>Hey you stupid pathetic looser why do you hate drew are you jealous? eh
>you ugly bitch you must have no life to have all this time to make that
>gay page you looser. why don't you get a life you pathetic bitch.
>Screw You.
>
>sincerely, DRew Fan
>
>_______________________________________________________
>Get Private Web-Based Email Free http://www.hotmail.com

Your vocabulary seems to be extremely limited and your mind extraordinarily
closed. How tragic. -sigh- I wish you could read. I would just send you back to
diedrew1.html and you could see for yourself that I don't hate Drew, I hate her
clones.

Also, I've heard from you before. Back in April. I thought I recognized your
name. I can't fathom why you would write and call me a loser when you're the
one who has repeatedly come to my page and bitched about it.

And just so you know, I do have a life. I have a job that makes good money
(I make web pages at the Aerospace Corp.) and go to movies, bookstores, the
beach, all the things that a normal 18 year old does. I don't know why anyone
would think I didn't have a life just because I KEPT UP a web page.


And now, for the automated message....

**this is a generic reply to messages; i'll only include it once for you, but it was added to Paul's first message also.**

****THE FOLLOWING IS AN AUTOMATED MESSAGE.****


ATTENTION MORON:


I'm not sure I can get through to you, since OBVIOUSLY you can't read warnings
telling you and those like you to go the hell away, but I will make a meager
attempt.


1. Learn to read. It can help you in more than one area in your life, including
reading warnings on pages that might offend you and bottles containing substances
that might kill you.

2. Learn to comprehend what you read. This comes after the first lesson. I have
NO qualms with Drew barrymore the woman. I'm sure she is a fine person. Her image
revolts me, but, as people are much more than their public images, I cannot say
that I hate her.

3. GET A SENSE OF HUMOR. This will help you to appreciate things that are NOT
meant to be serious. I wish Drew Barrymore no harm. There is no damage done in
warping >>pictures<<.

4. Personally, I don't care if you think what I did was rude. You are an obviously
hypersensitive individual. With this page I am not insulting you or your feelings
about Drew Barrymore - woman or image. I am simply expressing my distaste of her
image.

5. I have no intention of taking this off. Until I am threatened (in the mail)
with a law suit or I find the time to make another "Beat Up [fill in the blank]"
page this will stay up.



Just a reminder: I post all moronic mail like this. Tell all your friends
to come see this page. Knowing that others will revel in your stupidity makes my day a little brighter.


Blood and bruises,

D. Mentia
-------------
Metria's better half.




To: Paul saliner
Subj: Re: looooser!!

At 11:18 PM 7/10/97 PDT, you wrote:
>Hi you looser I hope you enjoyed making that page you looser why would
>you hat the most beutiful person alive probably cause your jealous. well
>I don't have too much time bitching out loosers like you so see ya
>loooser!!!!
>
>_______________________________________________________
>Get Private Web-Based Email Free http://www.hotmail.com

I really hope you learn to spell before you write mail like this to someone.
All it does is limit your credibility and give me fodder for the Dumb-Drew-Fan
Cannon.

You sound a whole lot like Ryan Klegwyt. I suppose you know him? Intimately,
perhaps.

"Piss off, Junior-High Boy." -- Evil People, Inc.




To: Ryan Klegwyt
Subj: How many o's are there in "loser"?

At 11:05 PM 7/11/97 PDT, you wrote:
>hi it's me again!! thanks for replying soo soon you must have
>been bored I feel sorry for the people that have to see you at
>the beach!! I can read or I would not be able to write this
>and yes I did write you in april. who so you go to the movies with
>your mother?? or yourself? how long have you kept your page going??
>well hope to hear from you, you simple minded freak!!
>P.s: Fuck you
>
>oh yeah did you hear from my friend paul???
>
>

I check my mail in the morning. You sent your message the night before. There
was no courtesy implied by the timely response.

I must ammend what I said earlier. True, you must be able to read. Comprehension,
however, is probably something you're just getting familiarized with.

I have a group of friends (yes! more than one!) that I go with just about every
week. I haven't ever been to a movie alone and not with my mother since I was 10.

This page has been up since the 3rd week in March.

And who are you to say I'm simple minded? Isn't it YOU who insists on writing
such pointless letters to me? You should really think about getting a hobby.
I've heard herb gardens are all the rage.

And yes, I got the message from your gay lover Paul. Or, perhaps, was it you
and another account? I would find it to be an incredible coincidence that BOTH
of you can't spell "loser."

"Piss off, Junior High Boy." -- EvilPeople, Inc.

Ta ta.

D. Mentia
-----------
Metria's better half.

p.s. There's no point in replying to this. You're wasting my time and yours.
I'm going to bed now. I've got friends who are dying to try out their new
mailbombing programs. I'm sure your address would be as good as any other to
send them.





To: Paul sauliner
Subj: How terribly unoriginal


At 11:18 PM 7/11/97 PDT, you wrote:
>Hello, my name is Paul, i talked to my high school buddy Ryan.

What? You're his gay lover? You want the world to know this? Okay. If someone
must help you get out of the closet, it might as well be me!

>He hates you too.

Like I really give a shit.

>BITCH!! You are the biggest fukin' loooooosssseeerrrr.

Blah, blah, blah. Words, words, words. Did you know your opinion of me matters
less to me than the decay rate of slime mold?

>You like keep track of all yer e-mail 'cause you got nutin' else
>to do. You remembered Ryan from April. I figured that you would
>hundreds
>of these letters everyday you fukt up mutherfuckin' looser.

Actually, Ryan has a rather unusual last name, and I spent some time
rearranging some of the page last weekend. I remembered his name from last
weekend, not April.

>you blow dogs.

No, sorry, you're the wrong species.

>Could you send me a pic of yu so I could make a Beat The Shit
>Outta THe Drew Hatin' Bitch webpage. That'd be cool..huh.huhhuhhuhhuh..

Sure. I'll be that stupid. Here. It's attatched. Go see it!

>I don't have that much time on my hands though. You see I have a life.

OH PLEASE?! Not that much time on your hands? Do you and Ryan live together?
Masturbate together? Write mail together? Is this why your messages have been
mere minutes apart?

>Any way I should go....Sincerely Drew luver PAUL.

What? Ryan's gay lover? I thought we had already discussed your coming out
party.

>p.s. Your muther sucks cocks in Hell!!!

Sure, considering that I am the spawn of Satan I'm sure it's probably true, but
what my mom does is her business.

> you cocksucker Drew rules!!

Actually, I don't like poultry that much, so I can't imagine ever sucking on it.
I'm sure you don't mind it, but the taste must be repulsive.

>Fuck you you looser!!!

What is a "looser"? I thought that was an adjective.

>you are a pathetic piece of shit!!!

You already know what I think of your opinions. I won't be redundant.

>you probley have 0 friends a sits around talking to your
>dog!!

Right. When the psychadelic drugs kick in my dog and I discuss Niezche
and Plato. She's a rather cunning bitch too. I can never win an argument
with her.

>go to hell!!!!!!

Been there, done that.


Get a hobby, man. You and Ryan should spend more quality time together. You're
obviously having a difficult relationship and taking it out on me. I wish you
the best of luck!

Toodles.

"Piss off, Junior High Boy."

D. Mentia
-----------
Metria's better half.


p.s. Don't bother sending anything else to me. You're wasting my time and
yours.




To: Ryan Klegwyt
Subj: stop emailing me!!

At 11:51 AM 7/14/97 PDT, you wrote:
>Stop emailing me ok and I should let you know I have 2 brothers in
>university here for the summer.
>
>ta ta,
>
>_______________________________________________________
>Get Private Web-Based Email Free http://www.hotmail.com
>

What does having your brothers around have to do with me? Are they going to
start sending idiot mail too? Oh! Heaven forbid! A whole family of morons!

Good. Now you know how it feels to have pointless, stupid mail sent to you in
unbelieveable quantities.

D. Mentia
-----------
Metria's better half.



That's all. Go back now. Click the back button. I'm not gonna give you a link. I really hope you found this as funny as I did, especially my second reply to Paul. I was so almost proud of it.